A response to the Sisters of Resistance

Icon_article Published: March 28, 2011 11:05 by Some Male Activists In Nottingham |

Tagged as: gender patriarchy sexism sisters_of_resistance
Neighbourhoods: nottingham

Dear Sisters

Thank you for ignoring society’s and the activist scene’s expectations and calling out male privilege and sexist behaviour. We recognise the behaviours that you describe and the consequent oppression of women that they result in. We are sad to say that we recognise many of these behaviours as ones that we ourselves have perpetrated. Although we recognise that this is not just about us, we are deeply sorry for any actions of our own that have had the effect of oppressing women and upholding patriarchy.

Recognising the widespread complicity in sexist behaviour that exists within our community, a group of men in Nottingham started meeting regularly in Autumn last year, to attempt to deal with our shit, be conscious of patriarchal behaviour and to be better allies of the women in our lives and community. Working from the basis that it is our own responsibility to do this work, not the responsibility of women, we have tried to challenge our own assumptions and behaviours and support each other to change. We have discussed a wide range of issues that have come up for us, including consent in relationships, gender dynamics in meetings, who does domestic tasks in our homes and aggression. We have sought to pick through our own personal histories to identify how and where we learnt our patriarchal behaviour, thus better enabling us to unlearn and hopefully end these behaviours. We have tried to educate ourselves using the experiences of women, to identify our own failures to live up to our anarchist and anti-sexist ideals regarding gender, and to find ways to start changing our mindset and our relationships with the women we know for the better. We are trying to learn from the women we know as to how we need to change, asking them to challenge us on our bullshit without us responding with defensiveness, fear or hostility.

This is not an attempt to show what great anti-sexists we are – we know that we have many failings and that unpicking patriarchal thinking takes a long time. We write out of solidarity with you and to show that, despite the hostility and denial from some men, this is not the whole picture. Whilst it absolutely should not be left to women to criticise us, and face the aggressive response that inevitably follows, we try to use that criticism to challenge ourselves. We have found your suggestions for overcoming patriarchal behaviour a useful tool in helping us to progress.

We see our men’s group as a very small contribution to the fight against patriarchy and recognise its limitations- as men we are likely to be blinded or ignorant to some of our sexist behaviour. We would like to contribute towards the creation of spaces with women in which the issues including those raised by the Sisters of Resistance can be discussed amongst women and men, with the aim of challenging patriarchal thought and action rather than seeking to justify the status quo. We strongly believe that patriarchy is entwined with capitalist society, and that if we wish to build communities of resistance then all the abuses and hierarchies prevalent within the dominant society must be challenged with equal determination. We would also be very willing to participate in the initiatives of others around these issues.

We have had enough of men’s denial and excuses – let’s work together to bring down the patriarchy!

Comments

Not my experience

Comment Published: March 28, 2011 12:44 by Sister

I have read the original post and took the time to visit the blog from which it came and I have to say the experencies of the authors and not mine. I have been 'on the scene' for about 7 years and have never faced the attitudes they have. I wonder if it is simply they have the wrong friends ?

a little confused

Comment Published: March 28, 2011 15:52 by anna

I'm not sure if I should take the 'Sisters of Resistance' seriously. I took a look at their website and it reads as one very bitter unhappy individual trying to come across as a group. The post about how to spot if a man is cheating on you is frankly barmy and the views about equality being achieved by rigid application of 50-50 representation in all walks of life is unrealistic and makes no difference in achieving aims (look at the Labour Party all wimin lists). In addition it seems not to understand the role of lesbian wimin and is focused very much on straight wimin.

All in all I don't think it adds anything to the debate and probably harms it.

Reply

Comment Published: March 28, 2011 19:24 by Sisters of Resistance

Dear Male Activists in Nottingham,

We were extremely pleased to read your reply. It takes a particularly selfless, intelligent and courageous man to engage in self-criticism in such a public way. This is precisely the type of constructive dialogue and self-reflection we hoped the letter would provoke. We are genuinely grateful for your letter and the numerous similar responses we received from other honest and thoughtful male activists.

Your anti-sexist men’s group sounds like a wonderful idea. It is the kind of activity that other male allies would no doubt find useful and interesting. We would be pleased to work with you on this kind of project; we could perhaps jointly facilitate workshops on the subject? We are available at sistaresista[@]gmail.com if you would like to get in touch.

Look forward to taking down patriarchy, capitalism, neo-liberalism and oppressive hierarchical structures with you in the future,

Sisters of Resistance
http://sistersofresistance.wordpress.com/

@Sister

We do not “have the wrong friends”; many of the attitudes we describe come from self-labelled “feminist anarchists.” We live under patriarchy and are all affected by it; there is no feminist utopia friend circle in which the issues we refer to do not exist. In addition, to suggest that we have the wrong friends absolves the abusive men we are talking about of all blame.

Having said this, we have been involved in including young people not familiar with the “activist scene” in actions, demonstrations and occupations recently. Some of the attitudes and behaviours we address are more prevalent among these young men. However, we maintain that our letter is applicable in many cases and we have been contacted by numerous people who agree with us.

@ anna

We are not “one very bitter unhappy individual trying to come across as a group.” As the “Who are we” tab (clearly visible on all pages of our website) makes clear, “We are a revolutionary, Sicilian, vegan PhD student from Bow E3 (the home of grime), and a pro-vegan, American child of immigrants, spoken word artist, teacher and femcee.”
We are sorry that you found our article about infidelity “frankly barmy” – we have been contacted by women who found it empowering and useful.

No where do we say “equality [will be] achieved by rigid application of 50-50 representation in all walks of life.” This was one suggestion out of a list of 30 that we made at the end of our article. It is strange that you would pick this one out and misrepresent us in this way.

You say that we do “not to understand the role of lesbian wimin and [are] focused very much on straight wimin” – when we are in fact both bisexual. Have you visited our Resources page? http://sistersofresistance.wordpress.com/resources/ We have provided numerous links on sexuality, homophobia and feminist lesbianism and will definitely directly address these issues in upcoming articles. We have not written posts on these subjects as yet as we have thus far been attempting to engage women who experience oppression at the hands of men.

Lastly, we do not “harm the debate.” We are creating a new debate based on our realities and our experiences and we have received numerous messages of support and gratitude, the OP being a particularly beautiful example of this.

Perception is reality

Comment Published: March 29, 2011 08:16 by anna

It may not have been your intent but the fact remains that your site does read as though you are a single straight woman probably on the wrong side of a break up with a man of colour who left you for somebody else who is bitter and using the web as a way to vent.

That being said I did re read it and tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and read it in the way you said you intended it should be. I'm sorry to say my mind is not changed. The problems wimin face in society (including patriarchy) will not be overcome by statements like,
"sexism is making me feel depressed, withdrawn and unable to cope with social situations". Clearly the individual here has serious mental health problems that require treatment. This is not a victim of sexism but of illness.

In addition I found it remarkable that a blog seeking to challenge gender based role definition would as one of its first posts put up a recipie !

Finaly I wish to state very clearly that I find the blog worringly close to racism in a number of areas, the newest post where you identify a male type as "The gangsta" being a case in point. You clearly have unresolved issues with people of colour that I suggest you deal with. It is not acceptable to say you are against race discrimination while displaying it.

Guidelines

Comment Published: March 29, 2011 18:28 by One of Notts Indymedia

Please note that personal abuse and unfounded accusations are not tolerated on this site and any comments containing them will be hidden.

Why the butthurt?

Comment Published: March 29, 2011 19:25 by anon

Why the random attacks on Sisters' site?

Judging something by what it "looks like" at first sight is what I'd expect of Daily Mail readers, not activists. Learn to look beyond appearances FFS - and go reread Debord while you're at it.

And also some mad liberation stuff. I summon the ghost of Foucault to spank you for medicalising social problems. Depression often - usually - has social causes, it isn't just an "illness", more like getting asbestosis or RSI from work, if we must medicalise it at all.

Also, I happen to know that the accusations of racism are very wide of the mark. Do you seriously think all gangstas are black or all black people are gangstas?

Oh, and I've seen enough of this stuff going on to know it really happens, and heard about a lot more than I've seen. If you've not seen it at all then you're probably not recognising it when you're seeing it, and not listening when you're told it.

I commend Sisters for speaking truth to power from their perspective.

@anna

Comment Published: April 06, 2011 01:53 by Male Activist

"you are a single straight woman probably on the wrong side of a break up with a man of colour who left you for somebody else who is bitter and using the web as a way to vent."

They just said they are both bi. Do you think they are lying? Have you seen the black liberation/ anti racism and anti-imperialism sections of their resources page? Do you really think they compiled 100s of links on anti-racism while secretly being.. racist? Really? What do you do to fight racism may I ask?

"The problems wimin face in society (including patriarchy) will not be overcome by statements like,
"sexism is making me feel depressed, withdrawn and unable to cope with social situations". Clearly the individual here has serious mental health problems that require treatment. This is not a victim of sexism but of illness."

I found this all really shocking. That article wasn't saying patriarchy will be overcome with those kinds of statements. Did you read it all? it was an honest account of the intersectionality of abuse (at the hands of men), sexism and mental illness. Not a victim of sexism? Did you read the whole article you are talking about or only the first line? How many women do you know that have never been a victim of anything sexist? Are you serious???? And where did that illness come from??? Blaming the victim. Daily Mail mentality like Anon said.

"In addition I found it remarkable that a blog seeking to challenge gender based role definition would as one of its first posts put up a recipie !"

its in the context of promoting veganism. you are desperately trying to discredit them where ever you can arent you? Why are you asumming men cant look at that recipe? Do you think recipes are inherently sexist? Again, your own assumptions being projected on to the blog.

They also say they reject "patriarchal gender roles for women including submission, servitude and marriage" but you didnt pick up on that did you?

I can't believe you think that all gangsta's are black, you are clearly the one exhibiting racist attitudes! And what about the other 4 types? The reality is all of the types are equally applicable to men of all colours.

Whatever your actual problem with the blog is, every time you attack it, you just reveal your own really bad politics.

@Male Activist

Comment Published: April 07, 2011 06:42 by anna

Are you really saying you cannot see the racism on the site, that after reading it so thoroughly you were not able to clearly see the remarks, comments, stereotypical views of the racist ?

If that is really true and you are not just saying it I strongly reccomend you take the time to read 'Understand hidden racism' by Dr Jake Ulambo or 'Racist but in denial' by Littlechild Chulamba which will help you with your development.

Best wishes
Anna

@Anna

Comment Published: April 07, 2011 18:16 by Sisters of Resistance

Dear Anna,

You are right that our "5 Types of Men to Avoid", although based on real life experiences, could be read in a way that reinforces racist stereotypes.

As we constantly advocate unlearning oppressive behaviours, self-reflection and self-criticism we will be posting an article entitled "Are We Racist?" reflecting on the issues this discussion has raised. One of the conclusions will be that we are all socialised into a racist society that normalises white privilege and demonises black people and so we must be constantly vigilant, listen to others and take effort to correct any oppressive behaviour.

Thank you for your reading suggestions, we will check them out and add them to our resources page.

Thanks again,

Sisters of Resistance

http://sistersofresistance.wordpress.com/

Ulambo and Chulamba - ???

Comment Published: April 08, 2011 07:45 by wtf

I wasn't able to find either of the articles referred to, by Dr. Jake Ulambo and Littlechild Chulamba. In fact, I couldn't find any evidence on the Internet of people of these names even existing. Can we have a full reference of where these pieces are from, please? Or is this an attempt to make other people ignorant by citing nonexistent sources?

Anna is a troll

Comment Published: April 08, 2011 08:03 by Not impressed

So let's get this right:
Anna makes comments in the guise of a feminist, even going as far as to appropriate feminist tropes and language such as "wimin" and references to lesbianism. However, the content of her posts is simply the rubbishing of the sisters of resistance as "one very bitter unhappy individual", harming the debate, "using the web as a place to vent" and having "serious mental health problems". Very sisterly to do that on a public web site!

Then, when people come to the sisters' defence and aren't impressed "anna" makes very vague and non-specific allegations of racism. The only evidence she sites is a post that no one else can see as being racist. When she is called out for making unsubstantiated allegations she refers to two apparently non-existent authors/texts but still can't quote any specific text that backs up her claims.

"anna" - you are a troll, quite possibly someone with a personal grudge against one of the sisters. Start your own blog and stop polluting indymedia with your fantasies.

Standard response these days

Comment Published: April 08, 2011 15:43 by anna

I'm very sorry to see a poster quickly shouting "troll" when he/she sees a view of mine that differs from his/hers. I am not a troll I am a writer on feminist and race issues and have many years experience in this field. If you are unable to find the publications I listed I would suggest you look harder - the Internet is a great resource but not all books are listed on it.

Un-self recognised racism is a bigger problem than many realise, simply declaring oneself "not a racist" does not make it so. I assume the authors of the blog in question would not simply take at face value an individual who declared himself 'a feminist' but who used patriarchal language in a blog or website. The racism of this site is there for those who look for it and understand the issue perhaps more fully than you or the authors.

I state again the important point I made earlier, the writer(s) of the website have clear unresolved issues with men of colour than they need to recognise, accept and deal with. Insulting me does not change that.

@anna

Comment Published: April 08, 2011 20:32 by another reader

'The racism of this site is there for those who look for it and understand the issue perhaps more fully than you or the authors.'

Hi Anna. It seems like people can't see what you find obvious (including other people of colour). So maybe it would help if you could point out a few examples.

It also seems like we're having difficulty finding the texts that you refer to. So maybe you could give a brief summary of their theories.

'the writer(s) of the website have clear unresolved issues with men of colour than they need to recognise, accept and deal with.'

Again, this is not clear to me or to the other people I have spoken to about this blog. Perhaps you could cite some examples?

A Black woman's view

Comment Published: April 12, 2011 07:03 by A Black woman

I can see where 'anna' is coming from here and I understand why some white people are unable to comprehend the racism that is at the heart of nearly all Western NeoCon/Liberal society. Black people face racism every day of their lives in advertising, politics, workplace promotions and wages often from white people who regard themselves as "Liberal" or "Anti-Racist". Indymedia like most Middle Class Left of Centre political movements talks a good talk on the subject while failing to deal with the racism that it contains. This blog is the same, for those of us who are racism aware and have taught ourselves how to spot racism then the indications are there. I am however pleased to see that the 'Sisters' recognise their inherent racism and are working to change it. This is the key to future equality.